Standing in the middle facing number 113, I make sure I’m at least three steps away from the door; I hit a white button and the sound of my heart beats overrides that of the ringing bell.
My head is around 45 degree angle to the floor as the thought of what I am about to witness is weighing me down as if I am carrying a lot on my back.
Trying to stand up; I hear foot steps approaching; I start regaining my lost posture and stand tall.
The door starts to slide backwards; while the sound of the tung nesting back into its unlocking slot contributes to a subtle quick empty swallow.
Suddenly it feels like I am on a stage with lights around me slowly dimming off while a spot of emotions encircles the scene.
“Hey” I say, thinking of Larry David to make it sound as human as possible; “Hey” she replies with a smile accompanied by a shiny white string of musically aligned set of piano like teeth.
“Can I come in?” I asked.
We first met 4 years ago when I was on a flight to New York. I was allocated an isle seat at the very back of the plane which made the arrival of a meal longer than normal as flight attendants start their service journey at the front.
I was trying not to doze off; but my eye lids couldn’t help it when they were swinging up and down like children playing at the park.
Between dreaming and reality; blurry visionary messages started sending pictures of a stewardess approaching my seat;
“Would you like chicken or fish sir?” asked the blue eyed.
It took me some time to respond as her long eye lashes engulfing a set of beautifully shaped sky colored eyes hindered my ability to speak.
She kneeled and reached for a tray while our eyes went into a magnet like mode.
She eyed me with her thoughts of “I don’t mind spending the whole flight starring at you in admiration”
I returned the smile and said “whatever is easier for you”, smiling at me even more “I have both” she replied.
Steph is a very beautiful kind hearted girl. She is specialized in putting the interests of others before hers. She lives by the notion that giving is what makes her happy.
“I gave my family everything I could” she opened up to me while sipping out of a New Zealand glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
After admitting what she did for her family, my feelings for her grew stronger and I felt like I am entering into a new phase of love with a blue eyed woman.
I held her hands and said “you are too hard on your self, you have given and done your family good and because of your actions,they are now happier; you must be proud of this and start giving yourself some love”, with her eyes gazing at a tree and then back to me “It’s going to rain” she unexpectedly said. “What do you mean?” I asked, when the winds started blowing and clouds grayed the sky out.
She scared me as; I thought she does black magic and can read into the future.
But she added some meaningful insights on how it was going to rain; “I know things, I can feel things; I saw the leaves falling off the trees and birds flew out of sight beyond clouds.”
I took back my senseless thoughts and we started walking under the rain heading for dinner.
I wanted to hold her hands, put my arms around hers, I wanted to be as physically close to her as could be but she was surrounding herself with a circle of fear and uncertainty.
“I am afraid Sherif; I am afraid you would leave me again; I was ready to do everything for you back then; but you chose to let go”
When we got together the first time; she showed me love and care but I was too busy managing immature and wrong decisions and now I was paying the price.
I got up the last morning we spent together, put on Bobby Hackett & Eddie Condon’s Orchestra – When Your Lover Has Gone, 1944 and made myself a cup of tea; waiting for the kettle to reach its boiling point; the steam started to draw imaginary messages in the air “if you want something, you have to fight for it”
I couldn’t get the picture of the night before out of my head; it was one of those memories that you could dig up anytime to feel good.
In between tea drinking sips; I scrabble thoughts in my head on how to get her into my life and start a beautiful journey together.
I then went for a run to re-arrange the thoughts in the most convincing and appealing way possible.
She wore skinny jeans and dark gray top with a pair of white sneakers that reflected a great day ahead.
As sunny as it could be, my emotions started to heat up when Coco Channel distinctive smell made it harder for me not to get closer to her; also tempo running that morning helped me work on a quick steal a kiss and run away technique.
Her reactions and responses gave me a spark that the day is going to end with us announcing to the world that we’d be together.
I suggested a lobster and steak dinner as it takes a long time to crack the flesh out of a lobster; it will give me the plentiest of time to execute a dialogue for us to start a relation.
Watching her munching on those lobster legs made me fall for her even more; splashing bones in the air added many laughs and funny moments to our time.
The waitress came and lit the candle on the table; I looked her in the eye and said “Steph; I want to be with you, I really like you; we can work this out; let us work on this and help each other”
With a lobster leg in one hand and fries in the other she said “there’s something underneath your lips”
After a digestive walk we sat on a bench and had Lemon and Ginger juice.
There were no words to describe the next dialogue that happened between us as it was all smiles and eye gazing messages.
Every time she’d look me in the eye; I could feel that as much as she wanted us to be together; reason was convincing her other wise.
The thoughts that I organized earlier that day were not delivered to her in a speech form but rather in occasional skin to skin touches.
Having run out of words I wrap up the day and simply say “Let’s be together; It’s going to be beautiful I promise.”
The usual smile would draw wide on her face and all she’d do is look me in the eye until I’d shy away.
It was her last day in town.
I hugged her and said “Thank you”
She waived goodbye.
Suddenly buzzing sound kept going off.
It was the 6:00 o’clock alarm.
I hit snooze.
I woke up and realized it was all gone.
I looked around.
It was my room.
I rubbed my eyes.
I thought “What a beautiful dream”
My name is Sherif; I am a dayenjoyer.