Sometimes failure, is just failure.

Yesterday I couldn’t find anyone to surround myself and have a nice conversation with, so I tuned in to an episode of Silicon Valley, E1 S3.

Gavin Belson, Ceo of Hooli, made a statement which influenced me to write about in today’s post.

He approached the podium, placed his arms, elbows straight, on the edge, looked at the audience, who were anxiously waiting for his speech, and after a few seconds of silence, he exhaled a sigh as if ridding all the strenuous pressure in the past in one breath and said:

Sometimes failure is just failure

I struggled to fall asleep and it took me about two hours to finally force my mind to stop worrying and simply drift away wishing I would never wake up.

I thought of all the failures in my life and yes, now I have reached the peak of the Alps of human failures and I’d proudly win a new world title if there was ever a study carried out proving who’s the most failing person on the planet.

And psychologically I am devastated because of this, I see the world as a complete utter non sensible planet; I try and see the good in everything, count my blessings, think positively, study happiness, work, exercise, relocate, change my clothing styles, shave upwards, talk to squirrels, listen to music, chat strangers up; but no matter what it is I try and do; I can never escape the constant thought of failure chasing me.

When you have failed, and you know it big time that you have failed not only others but deep inside you know that you have failed yourself, your dreams, your aspirations, your childhood image of your adulthood life like meeting the love of your life, becoming a pilot, a doctor or a singer, and you think that you have lost everything, your identity, your past, your future, your present, your friends, your job; you realize you have lost you.

No matter how many books you read, how many times you keep moving forward; nothing helps.

You think maybe I should go see someone, then the thought of ‘How could I explain my life and feelings to a complete stranger and expect this to be helping me in someway’ holds you back.

Today I have come to an agreement with my feelings:

It’s ok to fail. It’s ok to fuck all your life up. It’s ok to lose all your friends. It’s ok to lose your job. The love of your life. It’s ok to feel your worst. And it’s ok to feel completely lost.

You know why?

Because it’s just ok to be in any state during the different stages of your life.

Look around you; you will see some happy people, some neutral and some sad.

If someone is looking around themselves and at you right now, what do you think they would be thinking of how you’re feeling?

Will it ever matter to them how you are feeling? Do you think they will sense pity if you’re sad and approach and ask ‘What’s wrong with you big boy/girl?’

Good guess.

No they won’t.

In a few minutes, you will not exist, neither will they.

I know it’s killing you slowly inside, if not frying your organs on low fire, that you miss someone, you crave to be this or that, or had so much more, or what say you; but life doesn’t give a fly about your feelings or how bad or good your day is going.

Only you can give your life a meaning, a purpose, and happy moments.

You create your own life, you create your success and failures, you create your happiness and sadness, you create your heaven or your hell; it’s your pick.

Wipe your tears, it’s ok to cry, and if anyone, ANYONE, ANYONE, ever abuse you and say crying is a sign of weakness, punch them right in their nose smashing the hell out of their face.

I know you have been psychologically abused, I know that only you can estimate the amount of pain of your suffering.

Stop feeding the bad tiger in you by succumbing to your fears and failures.

Feed the good tiger in you who needs your hand, who can not be the tiger he always wanted to be without your help, feed the right person in you and don’t let the devil in all of us dance his nights away thinking he won by capturing you inside your own thoughts;

Break free from the battle.

If you want to drive that little bastard nuts, ignore his presence, after all nothing makes your enemies more furious than making them wonder how you’re still smiling.

Life is best lived and understood when you simply accept everything in it, good and bad. You must accept other wise you’re blowing air into a broken balloon that will never get pumped no matter how hard your try.

Relax my good friend, I know how good you are, I love you and I care about you more than you ever think.

Get yourself together and never let any failure stand in your way of living a life you always want to live.

People will throw words at you, criticize the hell out of your life, make you feel you don’t belong in today’s society, strip you of your masculinity/feminism, and do nasty things to fuck your psychological state up.

Which is totally ok.

Smile, live your day, make them wonder how you can always keep your cool.

You will never be able to tell the good people from the bad people, because you are not designed to be like them, you are designed to be good and only so.

You can not see the bad in people, because they are so good at hiding it and you’re too innocently good to realize how bad they are.

So when they do bad to you, simply do good to them; they will not understand why you are acting so, but one day they will know that they should have acted like you did and deserted their toxic hearts for a heart like yours.

Always remember that your failures were a result of you meeting the wrong people which is ok, it’s part of your history, of who you are, of your whole life.

Allow every good and bad thing in your life, welcome all.

You can not make the world a better place but you can make your place a better world. — dayenjoyer

my name is sherif and I am a dayenjoyer, what are you?

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